The Purpose Of Marriage

What is the purpose of marriage?

Is it sanctification? This person will change me.

Is it happiness? This person will bring me joy.

Is it fulfillment? This person will complete me.

I believe one of the primary purposes of marriage in the Bible isn’t any of those things…the primary purpose of marriage is to be a demonstration of the gospel. An illustration of a God who loves his people and a people who serve their God out of love. This purpose certainly adds clarity to what the Apostle Paul wrote about marriage in the New Testament:

²¹ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

²² Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing^[b] her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”^[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5

So, there are roles that we play in this illustration. The role of love. This is directed at husbands, but obviously both parties in a marriage are called to love. But he talks about this love that a husband can bring to a marriage that is similar to how Christ loves the church. It is sacrificial. It’s deferential. It lays down our life. It is giving the people around us a glimpse of God’s love for us.

The role of submission and service.  This is directed at both parties in the marriage. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ and wives submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord. Why? You are demonstrating the churches’ role in loving Jesus. As a Christian, we are submitting to Him and His will and His ways every day. This isn’t drudgery or a hardship, because we love Jesus, we submit to Him. So, when both parts of a marriage take on this call…submitting to each other and trying to out serve one another, it makes the marriage work. But it also gives people an example of how they can voluntarily and joyfully submit to Jesus in this same way.

Misunderstanding the purpose of marriage will quickly lead us astray. It’s easy to buy into cultural understandings that marriage will complete me, serve me, and bring me happiness.

As Christians we have a higher calling than me. We are on a gospel centered mission in every area of life…work, school, life, and certainly marriage. When we accept this call to show people Jesus by loving, serving, and submitting to our spouse, the end result is actually our joy. But starting with happiness as the primary purpose of marriage will lead us down a self-centered path. It is when we understand the gospel and our high calling that marriage works, and joy comes.