Embracing Regret

I recently saw a study that reported 4 out of 10 people feel a sense of regret around certain life decisions. They wish they had spent more time with kids, less time at work, and made healthier life choices. My reaction was pretty simple…only 4 out of 10? Are the other 6 lying?

Don’t we all have a sense of regret over certain decisions? A regret that says, “I wish I hadn’t bought that, said that, or taken that action.” Only 4 out of 10 feel any sense of regret?

Why?

We live in a culture that is desperate to be seen as moral, good, ahead of the curve, and better then most. This moral desperation makes it very difficult for us to embrace and own our regrets. Stated regrets own that we aren’t as moral as we might appear to be to others.

I think we have lost touch with our regrets because we have lost touch with grace. When you understand grace, you understand:

You can be forgiven of anything through the work of Jesus.

You can move forward to a new and better life. Grace says you don’t have to rinse and repeat past mistakes, you can move forward, empowered by Jesus, to make different and better decisions.

You are not defined by your regret. You are who Jesus says you are . You are a loved son/daughter of God and not the sum total of your past.

You are emboldened to make amends. Grace frees us to acknowledge what we have done and seek the grace and forgiveness of others. We will never pursue healing with others if we never acknowledge our sin.

Grace gives us freedom to look at our regrets.

That being said, regret shouldn’t consume our lives. If you are walking in regret, let me show you what the Apostle Paul said one time:

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. 2 Corinthians 7:10

Regret is only a good thing when it accomplishes a good thing. When it drives us to Jesus for His grace and new life, regret can be a positive attribute. It can also be healed and satisfied…salvation leaves no regret. When it drives us away from God and others in guilt and shame, regret can be very destructive. It can also fester and grow. We get to choose what we allow regret to do in us.

As I consider the study, my prayer is that 6 out of 10 have experienced the saving work of grace when it comes to their deepest regrets. They have no regrets because they have been loved out of them by Jesus.

I pray the same thing for you.