If sin separates then love is one of the gospel qualities that is putting it back together. It sounds trite, silly, and like a country music song but its also true…love is the process of undoing and restoring the effect of sin. It’s true in our relationship with God, each other, and especially our marriage. Allow me to show you I Corinthians 13:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” I Corinthians 13.
These are qualities of the divine, the qualities of Jesus. The Bible teaches that He is the groom and His church is the bride. Sin could have separated us from Him but love is how He put it back together. He chose to be kind. He chose to rejoice in the truth. He chose to protect. Jesus is our example of how to act and behave in a marriage.
He shows us that love is not to be overly romanticized. It is so much more then a fleeting feeling. It is a decision, it is a choice, and it is action.
Sin will tell us that we should get our way, that we deserve that. This will lead to all kinds of impatience because in a marriage there are two people who have opinions, thoughts, and desires. Love reminds us to be patient, listen, and serve.
Sin will tell us to say whatever we want to say in our anger, but love reminds us to be kind.
Sin will tell us to give up, but love reminds us to persevere.
Sin will tell us to never forget and bring up the past often, but love reminds us to keep no record of wrongs.
How does the example of Jesus become the way we live? We all want better marriages. I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t wish they were more patient or more kind. We all want that. How does it happen? Let me show you what is becoming one of my favorite verses….
“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory are being transformed into his image with ever increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18
Step 1: Take off the veil/mask. It is very difficult to be changed or transformed when we are wearing a mask and pretending to be something we are not. Be real with God. When we name an area of weakness it makes us more aware and more open to God’s work in that area.
Step 2: Contemplate God’s glory. This is the idea of the gospel centered marriage. We focus on who Jesus is and what He came to do. We focus on Him and as we contemplate, the Spirit begins to transform us into His image.
As I mentioned in the first article, we can contemplate the Lord’s glory through music, reading, listening to sermons, conversations with friends, and podcasts. There are many ways to think about and meditate on Jesus, His work, and His character.
It never starts with a statement, “I’m going to be more loving.” That doesn’t work. It starts with a contemplation about how Jesus is more loving. The Spirit works through that discipline and it changes and transforms our relationships, especially our marriages.
Encourage, Challenge, and Equip 