Sin separates and sin destroys. We typically think about this truth in regard to our relationship with God. Think about the Genesis narrative. The story starts with the man and the woman living in the garden with God. They sin and they are so flooded with feelings of guilt and shame and regret that they hide from God.
While that is true, the God/man relationship was not the only one affected by sin. The husband/wife relationship was affected as well. In that same story Adam blames Eve for their sin. The relationship becomes more difficult. Sin separates and sin destroys.
You see this truth all throughout the Bible. Marriages, relationships, and people affected by their sin or the sin of someone else. But we don’t need to believe in the Bible or God to see this truth. Look around our world. We all know people whose lives have been affected by their own bad choices and mistakes. It’s depressing but its also true.
Then there is the gospel. If sin separates and sin destroys, the gospel teaches us how God is putting it back together. Again, we typically think about this in terms of our relationship with God. That Jesus came and lived a perfect life and died in our place so that we can have the relationship with God we were created to have. We are saved by His grace, forgiveness, mercy, and perfect life. Because of Jesus we can find life in God.
A huge part of the New Testament writings are reminding us of this truth and motivating us to love this truth. Because, when this gospel is internalized, celebrated, and embraced, it restores more then just my relationship with God, it has the power to restore our relationships including our marriages. Sin separates but the gospel restores.
So my problem with a lot of marriage counseling is it starts with this truth….do this. But I believe a healthy marriage starts with another truth…believe this. Believe in Jesus. Trust His grace. Be blown away by His mercy. Celebrate His life. It starts with Jesus. When that happens the gospel does what the gospel does…it restores. Obviously there is engagement required on both sides and a few other caveats to this truth but you get the general idea.
A gospel centered marriage is a marriage that honors, celebrates, and is focused on who Jesus is and what He accomplished. When this happens, there are qualities that Jesus demonstrates in the good news that find there way into our relationships. Among them are…..
Love
Service/Sacrifice
Endurance
Generosity
Honor
These qualities will transform any relationship when both parties engage but it starts with believing, celebrating, and internalizing the gospel of Jesus Christ. We can do this in several ways:
Read through the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John) and be reminded of what Jesus has accomplished.
Listen to Christian music.
Get involved in a church or small group.
Read the first couple chapters of any writing of Paul. He starts with the gospel and then moves on to relationships a few chapters in because an internalized gospel changes everything.
Over the next few weeks I will be writing about each of these gospel qualities. Hope you can join me.
Encourage, Challenge, and Equip 